This Week in Wine
April 3, 2011Fake Jacob’s Creek sold in London
Hundreds of bottles of fake Jacob’s Creek have flooded the market in northeast London.
Of all the wines they could have chosen to counterfeit, why would they choose Jacob’s Creek? Isn’t that like faking $1 bills?
Survey finds most wine not consumed with meals
A new survey of top wine drinkers confirms suspicions that the majority of wine is drunk without food.
Why did it take a survey to work this out? I could have stated this for free!
How to Buy a $75 Bottle of Wine for $25: Just Remove the Label
In the recession era, the fastest-growing segment of the wine industry is in the $9-$12 range. High-end wineries, on the other hand, have found it nearly impossible to sell bottles for their $50 or $75 retail price. This is where 90+Cellars steps in….
This is a GENIUS idea! I’m thinking about trying to get them featured on this site.
Posted in News | Leave a comment //Facebook Announces “Breathalyze My Status” App
April 1, 2011
A little-known website called “Facebook” (apparently it’s some sort of “social networking” service), recently announced a brand new application, which it hopes will revolutionize the way you think about updating your social status!
It used to be that drunk dialing was the thorn-in-the-side of the intoxicated cell phone user, then it became drunk texting; and now with the recent surge in social media, drunken status updates have become the next big problem.
Introducing the “Breathalyze My Status” app, and plugin pocket-size breathalyzer!
Now you can update your status just by blowing into the small device, without fear of grammatical errors or spelling mistakes. After the app gets a reading, your status on Facebook will automatically update based on your level on toxicity, pulling from a database of over 13,000 pre-programmed statuses.
In a recent interview, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg stated “I’m not going to lie, I think this gadget is complete crap, but if it somehow makes me money; and even better, robs you of some of your privacy, I’M ALL FOR IT!!!!”
Extensive undercover field-research at bars across the country went into compiling the database of pre-determined Facebook status updates, which range from the relatively sober:
Hard day at work! Feels good to relax and unwind at the bar! Come out and join me!!!
To the slightly more tipsy:
I HATE all my friends! No-one showed up! I’m all alone with only the bartender to talk to……and she just told me she only got released from prison yesterday…and the less said about the tattoo on her face the better…!
To the little less coherent:
This bartender is the PRETTIEST WOMAN I have ever seen in my whole life…..some day I think I’m gonna marry this girl….!
To the completely annihilated:
I don’t…<hiccup>…tell my friends how much I LOVE them often enough!!!! But I dooooo!!!! You’re all like brothers …<hiccup>…and sisters to meeeeeee…….and……. oh…… wowwww…. I think I just threw up in the bartenders handbag…..…<hiccup>…lol…… :)
The Breathalyze My Status app will launch when Facebook is good and ready, and not a day before. They basically run the World now, and will do as they please.
Posted in Funny | Tagged Facebook | Leave a comment //Frisbee Golf and Wine – As It Turns Out, a Great Combination!
March 30, 2011I’d never even heard of Frisbee Golf until a couple of years ago. As it turns out it’s a perfect Sunday activity!
The basic premise is kind of the same as regular golf, except you are using Frisbees, and the holes are metal cage-type nets. 18 holes, lowest score wins. Oh, and it helps if you bring some wine!
Posted in Funny, News | Tagged flask, FLASQ Wines, Florida, Jacksonville | 1 Comment //
What it Takes to Become Featured
March 30, 2011
Over the previous months, and increasingly over the coming months, you are going to see more and more wineries becoming featured on this website. I have spent and continue to spend a huge amount of time working on this site and its social media accounts (and I’m having great fun doing it) . I therefore thought it was worth explaining the criteria a winery needs to meet in order to officially become featured, and what my overall intentions are.
Posted in News | 1 Comment //
Wine Fact of the Day – Taste the Rainbow.
March 29, 2011
Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company, a division of Mars, Inc, in a joint venture between an undisclosed French vineyard, have recently announced that they have managed to replicate the flavors of their popular Skittles brand into grape form (see photo on left)!
The flavors of individual grapes range from Strawberry, Banana and Orange, through to the more obscure Kiwi Lime, Strawberry Starfruit, and Blue Raspberry Lemon.
"We’ve been looking for a way to take our brand to the next level, and into the wine market, whilst still keeping our focus on targeting the Millennial Generation, because they love new and trendy stuff!” said 12 year old Skittles spokeswomen Samantha Hyde.
It is unknown whether the winery has any plans to make wine with the grapes, and a name has not yet been given to the new DNA strain that the grapes originate from. Skittles was unfortunately not available for comment on the claims that eating the grapes turns your urine purple, and the apparent suicide of several sheep in and around the vineyards.
Hopefully by this point you’ve realized this isn’t a serious post! This was actually my April Fools Day post from last year.
Posted in Funny | Leave a comment //FLASQ Merlot Video Review
March 29, 2011
Wine: FLASQ Merlot
Place: San Luis Obispo County, California
Price: $6-8
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