Zagat Outakes – 2010 Fast-Food Edition
January 3, 2011I just realized in the transition from my old website to this one I forgot to upload this post…
Zagat recently published their 2010 Fast-Food Restaurant Survey. These are some of the comments that didn’t quite make the cut.
“I ate at Jack in the Box before they killed some people. They practiced on me, saw I only got viciously sick to my stomach, so they knew they had to crank it up a notch.”
“The BP of food.”
“They fry harder.”
“Loved it when I was in high school, but I was going through my stoner phase.”
“I think this is where I developed a fear of clowns.”
“Ordinary is still the unattainable goal here.”
“Great cost-cutting strategy: use same material for pizza and boxes.”
“Just because it’s “all beef” doesn’t mean it’s any part of the cow you’d consciously eat.”
“Serves rubber balls and calls them lobster.”
“Should serve intestinal medicine as an amuse-bouche.”
“Voted “Most Popular” by the American Cardiology Association.”
“If they could, they’d deep-fry the menus.”
“57 flavors, all of which more or less taste like plastic.”
“What part of the chicken was that exactly?”
“If you have a taste bud, move on.”
“Amazing how one can pile so many ingredients together and still come up flavor-free.”
“I go there to practice ice skating in the grease on the floor.”
“Steaks cut from a boxing kangaroo that lost the fight.”
“I’m still confused about what that sausage is and what animal it came from.”
“Fries should be served with heart paddles.”
“The restaurant version of the movie Deliverance.”
“You shouldn’t even try to eat here if you don’t live in a trailer.”
“Most of the food is soft because so few of the customers have any teeth left.”
“Drunks everywhere would be lost without it.”
“Do they actually teach people how to ruin chicken and potatoes or is this learned on the job?”
“They improved it into low-grade dog food; god only knows what it was before.”
“Testimony to the fact that there’s a sucker born every minute, and also one exiting a freeway.”
“This place is still stuck in the 1980s – and it sucked in the 1980s.”
“Hangovers are the only reason this stuff is remotely edible.”
“The chances of your waiter being in jail recently are extremely high.”
“Rubbery tortillas designed for tensile strength alone.”
“Enough blubber in every bite to store up for a polar winter.”
“If it’s this or eating your shoe…well… I’d think about it…”
“I had an appendectomy the day after I visited – coincidence?”
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