Pairing Wine with the Cast of Jersey Shore.
January 5, 2012
REEEEEPOST!!! This is another post that never made it over to the website from when I had it redesigned over a year ago.
I promise I’ll keep posts of this nature (i.e. low in substance, high in humor) few and far between! It’s just a little fun…
In case you’ve been under a rock, here’s a quick summary of what Jersey Shore is all about:
Jersey Shore is a reality television series on MTV that follows eight housemates in Real World-type style while they live, work and party at the New Jersey Shore. Dubbed a cultural phenomenon, the series has garnered record ratings for MTV, making it the network’s most viewed series telecast ever. The series’ cast has also been credited with introducing numerous unique lexicon and phrases into American popular culture.
In the spirit of MTV’s Jersey Shore and with the new season airing on MTV tonight, I present to you a Wine Pairing with Cast of Jersey Shore:
Sammi "Sweetheart"
Bio: Sammi has been a serial dater all her life, but she’s now single and loves every minute of it. Her friends call her a sweetheart, but when it comes to guys she is a heartbreaker. Just ask Mike and Ronnie.
Wine Match: Beringer White Zinfandel
Like Sammi, Beringer White Zin is sweet, but not overwhelming so. It’s also not a wine for everyone, but has been “enjoyed” more times than you would believe! If you drink too much you’re sure to throw-up, just as you would watching Ronnie and Sammie break up 147 times.
Nicole "Snooki"
Bio: Nicole is looking to meet the man of her dreams. When she goes to the gym, she’s in full makeup, hoping to make a splash with all the toned men. Her height has been as much of a strength as it has been an obstacle.
Wine Match: Pommery “Pop” 187ml Champagne
Ah yes Snooki, my personal favorite Jersey Shore character! Snooki is short, loud, and doesn’t care what other people think of her. Pommery “Pop” Champagne in a 187ml is perfect for her: it’s small, the bubbles dance around wildly, and linger just long enough to be irritating. Symptoms include: screaming at inappropriate times, doing back handsprings, styling your hair into a giant “poof” on top of your head, and having strong personal problems with duck phones.
Mike "The Situation"
Bio: Mike may have a sensitive side, but he has plenty of game to go with it. He knows what he wants from his summer at the Jersey Shore and is not going to let anything stop him from getting it–even his roommates. The way he sees it, he has the situation under control.
Wine Match: Franzia House Wine Favorites (in a Box)
Love him or hate him, sleazy man-whore Mike “The Situation” is the most entertaining character on the Jersey Shore, and is always the life and soul of the party. I have paired him up with Franzia House White (to be savored directly from the box), When you wake up the next morning, you’ll certainly have a “situation” on your hands! Pairs perfectly with going to the gym, tanning and doing laundry: GTL!
DJ Pauly D
Bio: Pauly D is Rhode Island’s most well known DJ and keeps a tanning bed in his house. He orders gel by the case and does his hair twice a day–once in the morning and once before hitting the town.
Wine Match: Christian Audigier “Ed Hardy” Cabernet Sauvignon
One of the more likeable characters in the Jersey Shore house, DJ Pauly D like the Ed Hardy Cab is bold, covered in tattoos and makes a semi-attempt to be classy. Remember, it’s not just a wine, it’s a lifestyle! Ed will also help you in combat against “grenades”.
Ronnie
Bio: Ronnie might find himself in a brawl or two, but he is a lover who just wants to have a good time. He comes into the house with one rule: Don’t fall in love at the Jersey Shore.
Wine Match: Saldo Zinfandel by Orin Swift
The Saldo is big, intense, muscley and high octane, sometimes needing time in a decanter to “cool off”, just like Ronnie himself. If grapes were given an IQ test, Zinfandel would surely be revealed as the dumbest of all varietals! However don’t tell it that; it would have no hesitation in knocking you sideways!
Vinny
Bio: Vinny is a self-confessed mama’s boy and natural entertainer. He knows how to get a laugh from everyone he meets.
Wine Match: Bellview Pinot Grigio from New Jersey
An Italian grape that has found it’s way to the Jersey Shore, thriving in the hot summer sun. The Bellview Pinot Grigio like Vinny is subtle, a refreshing change, and the most Italian of the bunch, but will always call Jersey his home.
Jenni "J-WOWW" 
Bio: When Jenni walks into a bar, the guys yell "J-WOWW!" She may have a boyfriend, but down at the Jersey Shore all bets are off. Impulsive and spontaneous, Jenni is a party girl with zero self control. Wherever she goes, drama is sure to follow. But under her tough exterior there is a softer side which makes her the resident big sister.
Wine Match: Sogno Uno
Sogno Uno is a joint collaboration between Porn Star Savanna Samson, and renowned Italian winemaker Robert Cipresso. They manage to create a wine that is very well formed and elegant, whilst at the same time still managing to be ever so slightly sleazy. It’s revealing, reserved, fake and real. This “wine” is also not afraid to punch you in the face or make you cheat on your spouse…
Angelina 
Bio: If Angelina has something on her mind, it’ll be out of her mouth before you know it. She always has something to say and doesn’t care what anyone else thinks.
Wine Match: Bitch
If you actually watched any episode of Jersey Shore, this match doesn’t need any explanation…
Deena
Bio: Deena Nicole, also known as "The Blast," is a dental assistant from New Egypt, NJ. Deena values her friends and believes in living every second as if it’s her last. Describing herself as "loud, outgoing, random, silly and very positive,"
Wine Match: Sutter Home Moscato
Cheap, sweet, and trying soooooooo hard to be Italian but not quite achieving it. Sure to leave you with a nasty taste in your mouth the next morning.
Photo credits and bio’s courtesy of MTV
This entry was posted in Funny and tagged Jersey Shore, MTV, White Zinfandel. Bookmark the permalink. ← What They Don’t Teach You in Sommelier School. La Spinetta Nebbiolo, Langhe-Piedmont, Italy 2008. →
