Passport to Australia : Sunday, April 28th : 4-Course Wine Dinner
April 10, 2013
What
Wine Dinner Series : Passport to Australia!
$95 per person.
Where
25 Cuna St.,
St. Augustine, FL 32084
www.tastetapas.com/
904.810.2400
When
Sunday, April 28th
Posted in Events | Leave a comment //Pairing Wine with the Cast of Downton Abbey: The Staff.
April 1, 2013Ok! The long-awaited second part to my: Pairing Wine with the Cast of Downton Abbey series!
Once again, just so we’re all on the same page, if you haven’t seen Downton Abbey, this is all going to make absolutely ZERO sense to you! Then again, if you haven’t seen Downton Abbey, this is a perfect reason to do so! I would like to point-out that there are a few “spoilers” lurking within this article…so read at your risk!
The one thing to know about this post is that I didn’t pair a wine with every Downton character – mainly because there’s so bloody many of them – but also because there’s quite a few drab ones in the bunch.
What follows is my own take on pairing wine with the staff of the hit TV show: Downtown Abbey. Enjoy!
Charles “Charlie” Carson
Role: Butler.
Memorable Quote: “I do not wish to take a tour of your revolting world!”
Bio: Contrary to popular belief, Mr. Carson doesn’t actually own Downton Abbey, he just works there. The Butler at Downton, Charlie Carson is in charge of the male staff and takes care of the dining room and the all-important wine cellar.
Mr. Carson spends most of his weekends polishing the silverware and pretending he’s not gay. (That’s right, I’m calling it!!!)
If he were a wine he would be:
Why?: Old, bold and smelling vaguely like mold, Right Bank Bordeaux shares the distinction of being “a Bordeaux” with the more well-known and more aggressive Left Bank, but happens to be quite soft at heart, if you just let it open up a little.
Elsie Hughes
Role: Head Housekeeper
Memorable Quote: Mr. Carson: “Keeping up standards is the only way we can show the Germans we will not be beaten in the end!”
Mrs. Hughes: “Well, give me some warning the next time we’re expecting Germans at Downton and I’ll see what I can do!”
Bio: The ever-so watchful and attentive housekeeper, Mrs. Hughes is in-charge of the female staff at Downton. She isn’t married and probably never will be, since her standards are so high.
If she were a wine she would be: 
Why?: Grand Cru Beaujolais is the best-of-the-best – at least, as far as Beaujolais goes – managing to strike a perfect balance between being more serious than its peers, whilst also staying fairly fruity and youthful.
John Bates
Role: Lord Grantham’s valet (whatever that means…)
Memorable Quote: “Funny, our job. The way we live with all this pirate’s horde within our reach but none of it’s ours.”
Bio: The hardworking wartime friend of Lord Grantham, Mr. Bates is the dark horse of the bunch.
His military experience, combined with his having served time in prison over the death of his ex-wife, Bates is not someone you want to cross.
If he were a wine he would be: 
Why?: Incredibly complex, but in my opinion “released” too early. A couple more years locked away should supple it up a bit!
Sarah O’Brien
Role: Lady Cora’s maid.
Memorable Quote: Thomas: (talking about Matthew Crawley, heir to the estate) “Are we to treat him as the heir?”
O’Brien: “Are we heck as like! A doctor’s son from Manchester!?!? He’ll be lucky if he gets a civil word out of me!”
Bio: Without a doubt my absolute favorite character on Downton Abbey, and not just because she starred in Rita, Sue and Bob Too in her younger years.
Ms. O’Brian has an ever-so malicious and spiteful side to her; but for some reason, confides in Thomas to plot against Mr. Bates. If Downton Abbey were a game of Clue/Cluedo, it would be: Ms O’Brien, in Lady Cora’s bathroom, with a bar of soap…
If she were a wine she would be: 
Why?: Intense, should only be handled in small doses and one sip will have people wondering why they even gave it the time of day! Both will leave you with a bitterness you can taste for quite some time.
Thomas Barrow
Role: First footman
Memorable Quote: “I’m not foul Mr. Carson. I’m not the same as you, but I’m not foul.”
Bio: Dirty-scheming Mr. Barrow! Where do I even start with this guy…?
First he tried to get rid of Mr. Bates, so he could become Lord Grantham’s valet. Then he deliberately almost got his hand shot-off on the front-lines of the war, so he could return home. Upon returning to Downton, his shenanigans continued, successfully managing to piss-off everyone in the Downton house. Coming out of the closet is the only redeeming thing this guy has done!
If he were a wine he would be: 
Why?: Australia doesn’t make many roses, but when they do….they aren’t all that good! Fruit-forward, fairly obnoxious and the only reason you bought the bottle was probably because it had a good-looking label. I’m sure there’s a place for Australian roses, but it’s not in my house…
Daisy Robinson (Mason)
Role: Kitchen maid.
Memorable Quote: Daisy “You’ve still kept me here with a dishonest representation.”
Mrs. Patmore: “Oh dear, have you swallowed a dictionary?”
Bio: Dumber than a box of rocks, but oh-so adorable, Daisy manages to annoy Head Cook Mrs. Patmore purely by the sound of her breathing.
Naivety lies at the center of Daisy’s personality, which is perfectly illustrated by her crush on Thomas in season one.
If she were a wine she would be: 
Why?: Young, fun, bubbly and a little-bit stupid. It’s hard to complain about grocery store Moscato. Everyone should just take it at face value. It’s just happy to be here!
Beryl Patmore
Role: Head Cook.
Memorable Quote: “Daisy, what’s happened to you? I said you could go for a drink of water, not a trip up the Nile!”
Bio: Mrs. Patmore is the ever-lovable cook at Downton. Needless to say, like most of the Downton characters, she has had her fair share of drama! In season one she contracted cataracts and then later her nephew is shot on the battlefield for cowardice.
Things have settled down a little now for Mrs. Patmore…which means her character is probably going to be killed off in the next season…
If she were a wine she would be: 
Why?: Big, voluptuous and with plenty upfront; both wine and Cook make no apologies for themselves, offering a policy of “take me or leave me!”
Posted in Funny | Tagged Downtown Abbey, Downtown Abbey wine, Downtown Abbey wine pairing, Pairing Wine with the Cast of Downton Abbey | Leave a comment //Just a Couple of the Amusing Wine Test Answers I’ve Received.
April 1, 2013I couldn’t help but post this….with the particular students’ permission of course.
As some of you may or may not know, I have spent the past year teaching a wine class at the local Art Institute here in Jacksonville. It’s only part-time, which turns-out to be perfect, since it enables me to keep my other “side-gigs” going, but it’s also actually extremely rewarding.
Seeing students go from literally never tasting a wine before, to being able to be blind-tasted and know roughly where it’s from and name the grape, is pretty cool!
Any-who, a couple of my students just recently took their final wine exam – and passed with flying colors by the way – but I thought it would be worth sharing with you a couple of the more amusing answers I received.
#66 –“Bearing in mind the year we are in right now, how would you pair this particular wine (a 1985 Rioja) with food?”
Answer: “With foods/recipes that were commonly eaten back then.” [When I read this, I laughed so hard I actually cried. For what it’s worth, I was looking for a few more specifics within this answer. To simply write “…with foods/recipes that were commonly eaten back then.” just doesn’t quite seem to do the question justice.
#67- “How old do the vines have to be, according to U.S. law, in order for them to be classified as “Old Vines on a wine label?”
Answer: “That’s just marketing crap.” – [Correct; and if I could, I would give you extra points for this one.]
Winebulance: The Sequel!
March 25, 2013
Well…..how’s about this! A Winebulance!
So, I stumbled across this image today on The Facebook. The photo is of the “Winebulance” delivery truck from The Selsey Off-License in West Sussex, back in my Motherland (England).
What a genius idea! I wish I’d have thought of it first…..oh wait…I did….
…back in July of 2012 (click here for the original post). Notice my logo in the bottom-left corner.
I thought the idea of a Winebulance was so good that I actually purchased Winebulance.com in July of 2012 (it currently just redirects back to BlogYourWine.com.) In-fact, “Winebulance” wasn’t even a searchable word on Google before my post.
I can’t tell a lie. The fact that someone decided to base a business idea solely off one of my memes is pretty-much blowing my mind right now! But here’s the thing…a million ideas are thought-up every single day. I take minimal credit for someone “borrowing” my Winebulance idea and running with it. I’ve always said that it takes very little to simple THINK of an idea. Where the struggle comes is getting that idea to work.
I wish the fine folks at The Selsey Off-License all the best with their venture! Just remember where you saw it first! :)
Posted in Funny, News | Tagged meme, meme marketing, the winebulance, Wine meme, winebulance | Leave a comment //III Forks Happy Hour.
March 18, 2013
Pairing Wine with the Cast of Downton Abbey: The Nobility.
March 11, 2013If you haven’t seen Downton Abbey, this post is going to make absolutely zero sense to you! Then again, if you haven’t seen Downton Abbey, this is a perfect reason to do so! I would like to point-out that there are a few “spoilers” lurking within this article…so read at your risk!
The one thing to know about this post is that I didn’t pair a wine with every Downton character – mainly because there’s so bloody many of them – but also because there’s quite a few drab ones in the bunch. (If you thought I was going to waste my time with Matthew Crawley, you have another thing coming!…..RIP.)
What follows is my own take on pairing wine the with cast of Downtown Abbey. Part two will follow in a few days – when I have the time to finish it – and will feature the staff. Enjoy!
The Earl of Grantham
Role: Head of the Crawley family.
Memorable quote: “They do say there’s a wild man inside all of us.”
Bio: Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham, makes a profession out of doing nothing for a living…and terrifically adept he is at it too! Well…apart from the fact that he nearly single-handedly bankrupted the Downton Estate!
According to the Forbes “Fictional 15,” a list documenting the wealth of fictional TV characters, The Earl of Grantham sits comfortably at #14, right behind Montgomery Burns (of Simpsons fame).
If he were a wine he would be: 
Why?: Big, bold, a little-bit stupid, but with plenty of history! Never really given the respect they both “deserve,” the Earl of Grantham and Napa Valley Syrah have a tendency to rest on their laurels and pray that – with a little more time – everything will work itself out…
The Countess of Grantham
Role: Lord Grantham’s wife.
Memorable Quote: “You take over every room in the house, you bark at me like a sergeant major and you give orders to my servants!”
Bio: Born in Cincinnati on July 18 1868, Cora was the only daughter of a dry goods multi-millionaire. Lovable and affectionate, Lady Grantham can most days be found taking routine 1-hour tea breaks with her daughters in the library and trying to figure-out which idiot dropped the soap in the bathroom…
If she were a wine she would be: 
Why?: Simple and easy-going, yet no-one really knows why they came to be worth so much! People really don’t seem to mind spending time with an overpriced glass of Pinot Grigio; although, much like the Countess, deep-down everyone knows that it’s just mutton dressed up as lamb.
Lady Mary Crawley
Role: Eldest daughter of Lord and Lady Grantham.
Memorable Quote: Sir Richard: “I want you to marry me.”
Lady Mary Crawley: “Why?”
Sir Richard: “Because I think very highly of you.”
Lady Mary Crawley: “Very highly. Goodness.”
Bio: Lady Mary Crawley counts killing Turkish diplomats in her bedroom, being violently ill with the Spanish flu, and psychologically abusing her younger sister Edith, among her many hobbies. Mary is used to getting all the attention, especially from men, much to the dismay of Edith.
If she were a wine she would be:
Why?: They’ve both “been around the block a few times,” but everyone “enjoys” a good cheap Malbec! If you’re looking for a good time, “grocery-store Malbec” is where it’s at – but much-like Lady Crawley – some people question whether it has what it takes to rise through the ranks and prove their worth.
Lady Edith Crawley
Role: Middle daughter of Lord and Lady Grantham.
Memorable Quote: Lady Edith Crawley: “..am I to be the maiden aunt? Isn’t this what they do? Arrange presents for their prettier relations?”
Countess of Grantham: “Don’t be defeatist dear, it’s terribly middle class.”
Bio: Lady E. has the unfortunate role of being the middle daughter to Lord and Lady Grantham. The “red-headed stepchild” in the family, Edith was the first of the Crawley family to learn how to drive an automobile, taking lessons from her chauffeur. She can often be found chasing cows around the farm on her tractor, and other middle-class shenanigans.
If she were a wine she would be: 
Why?: Greek Moschofilero can be a beautiful wine, when treated correctly; but for the most part, no one really cares to get to know it any better than they already do. Lacking the level of charm and sophistication of others in its “price point,” both are yet to prove whether they have the ability to age gracefully and provide value over time.
Lady Sybil Branson
Role: Youngest daughter of Lord and Lady Grantham
Memorable Quote: “No one ever learned anything from a governess except for French, and how to curtsy.”
Bio: Poor old Lady Sybil! Everything was going great for the heiress; but after delivering her child, she began to experience a series of severe fits (due to eclampsia) and was unable to breathe and – in one of the saddest moments in TV history – passed away. Sybil’s famous last words were: “Argh, my head!”
If she were a wine she would be: 
Why?: With alcohol levels oftentimes approaching 18%, Australian Shiraz can give you a headache that will make you wish you were never born!
Dowager Countess of Grantham
Role: Lord Grantham’s mother.
Memorable Quote: “I couldn’t have electricity in the house, I wouldn’t sleep a wink. All those vapors floating about!”
Bio: The most quoted character in “The Abbey.” Originally dead-set against her son Robert’s marriage to American heiress Cora Levinson, she eventually came around. Money will do that to a lady!
If she were a wine she would be:
Why?: The Dowager Countess of Grantham is about as dry as they come! Both her and her wine pairing have the ability to strip the enamel off your teeth just by looking in their general direction, and occasionally – depending on who you are – leave an extremely bitter taste in your mouth!
It should be pointed out though that both the Countess and French Muscadet don’t care if you like them. They’ve been on this planet for longer than you, and will almost certainly outlive your weak soul!
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